Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Sometimes you have to say it is not okay

As a business owner I have truly learned it is okay to say "it is not okay." People tend to think you have to settle and you don't. Just like you trust God for your paycheck, I trust God will send the right customers who will appreciate our time, efforts and talents.

I have found our most loyal customers are Blessed because they appreciate the efforts of others. It's a cycle because when all you know is how to get over, you don't realize you are really getting over on yourself. As my husband said "it's always easy for the person receiving to miss it." Or as my Mom would say, "if you do good you are doing good for yourself."

This season remember to be a blessing to someone else. Remember to open up a blessing so huge for someone else and watch God do the miraculous in your life as well.

Sunday, December 14, 2014

I can't waste time worrying about your opinions of me

I thought about the numerous times I worried if I had offended someone. I realized that life is simply too short. I don't know what people believe you owe them but at the end of the day I feel like I owe an honor to God and I know I have been charged to raise my family. Everything else is what it is.

I am not going to spend my life biting my tongue. I am going to voice my concerns and move on. Opinions come a dime a dozen and everybody has one. So, if my opinion offends you and you can't come to me like a grown up, I really feel that's a decision you have made and will have to get past it in your own time. Whenever, I present something it is because I feel like it might be hurting someone else as well and needs to be addressed.

I am simply grateful to God for my family and therefore, I know the enemy is always going to try to create strife to get at them. If I don't show up for something know my family will always come first because that's the one thing I know God put me here to do. If I feel led to do otherwise it will be because God has led me to choose something first. However, at the end of the day if I have to choose they will come first.

I am a strong believer that it starts at home so if I lose my family chasing after activities then my life will have been in vain. I will serve God with all my heart and all in the way He directs me. I will not live my life how God led you. Just trust and believe I know more than what you think or believe. God first, family then activity for me. #beblessed

Saturday, November 22, 2014

I love the Seniors in the church

As a little girl I always loved the seniors. There was something about sitting down with people who could share wisdom. My Mom loved to take me to work with her at the nursing home. The seniors would say here you are and my own child won't even come to see me.

They would offer me jewelry etc. but Momma would say give it back. So I learned early that my giving was not for personal gain. My gifts would come from the Lord. People tend to think I'm snooty because I'm not moved by titles. When you believe that God's your source you don't have to be moved by people or status.

I don't waste a lot of time doing things that don't seem to be working out because it may not be my assignment or God may not want you to cast your pearls in certain places until He can clean it up. I met a "woman of God" allegedly and then I saw her in a dream. She was walking in a group in dark clothing and she appeared to be in a cult. Many people were cleaving to her at this church but I took my dream as a warning to be leary. As Momma said "everything that glitters isn't gold."

I say this to say when things are not working out don't be discouraged recognize it for what it is. Delays are not denials. Just like every season is not meant for you to partake. There are times we need to test the waters and see if we are sowing into what God truly wants us to do. God is not in a hurry and if you miss it his grace and mercy are truly new every day.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Isn't God Amazing

I literally just said yesterday Lord  I need $160.00 because I wanted something specific. Now we had sold something for $150.00 months ago and I really had forgotten about it & we told them they could have it. However, today out of the blue she left a message to stop by. Sure enough she decided to bless us with $160.00 that is just so God.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Seperating the person from the action is imperative

              For several reasons I have learned I have to separate the action from the person not to hate or resent people. I have to remind myself often that we wrestle not against flesh and blood. My husband does this way better than me. When you are working towards the greater good you have to know the Devil will send opposition and it will come from the people you least expect to disappoint you.

           You have to learn how to jump over the hurdles and keep it moving. I suppose this is why I don't allow too many people to get close to me. Because I have not mastered this yet. If I notice you can't be trusted for the long haul there's no reason to be that open to you. I take great care with people's feeling as I would my own. So I don't want anyone to get hurt.

             However, I have learned there will always be counterfeit friends and therefore, I must be very careful in my dealings since God has entrusted me with so many lives.

              I  recently understood what it means to have someone you really love become truly ill because of other people believing their circumstances are more the priority. Not truly realizing the load that my husband carries people tend to pull at him from all directions. I have learned to shut that down. I am working on preserving his life because we have a lot of growing old gracefully to do.

             I have tried to teach my children they are better together to destroy division as I feel it is a family curse. It isn't easy but my goal is to always be selective but to choose unity over confusion especially among those I truly love. So as I enter a new season I am Grateful to God for answering my prayers and showing me the hearts of man. I am grateful that he removed people who don't have the heart to know him and surrounded me with people who do. I continue to pray that He will surround my children with Godly relationships and send the right people into their lives so that they may be used for God's Glory and God only!

Be blessed.....I am here but for a time so use me for your Glory God....for it is you and you only I choose to serve:-)

Friday, October 17, 2014

I'm in it to Win it!

I woke up reflecting on the goodness of God. I examined some things and I realized why I was so discouraged. I shared that I walked away from the church because I felt like if I call myself a christian yet I'm doing no better than the world then what is the purpose.

So, I left and began examining different cultures and different church leaders. The head is what is most important to me, because if the shepherd is right the flock will follow. I must say I challenged God, I told him my Bible doesn't line up with what I am hearing.

If I can't love you who stands before me because I'm always walking in judgment of you something is very wrong. I felt like Christians were picking and choosing who to love. I felt like some were manipulating the scripture to build their empires. I don't want that. I want to love the Jacobs, the Joseph's and the woman with the issue of blood. To me that is walking in true power. That's walking out my true calling. I want to make sure that your encounter with God let's you be truly free, a place where you fish for yourself. Nothing broken, to be totally whole and set free, that is what this walk means to me.

So when I walked away I said "God show me your love." It was not easy God has to bring you to your knees sometimes. However, when Gods vessels got in motion I knew it was nobody but God. Everything that was offered was offered without selfish motive or gain. The people God used weren't saying God, God, they were actually showing me God. They didn't care about the almighty dollar, they were concerned about my families eternity. Even down to my transition it was So God. I stood on John 14 and God prepared a place for me it was offered with such sincerity. When I moved the transaction was nothing like the world, she discerned and she handed us our key. I share this testimony to say Thank you God for restoring my faith for showing me your Love and for knowing nobody wants to be in a mess. Jesus was not mad at the woman with the issue of blood , He was mad that the disciples did not know God's power through love.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Sometimes we are called to bare one another's burdens for true freedom

I was recently finding myself in that place where you just get so weary in well doing. However, I had to remind myself that someone bared the burden for me when I was being raised. I am so very grateful for my mother God rest her soul. Now I understand when she said it was not easy raising us.

Sometimes, people see you raising children and they think it is so easy. For the most part it was, but when you have 5 sometimes it can just seem like it is always something. I had to call my sisters and just say pray my strength. Then an old friend showed up to remind me I am not alone. She traveled a long way and it blessed my heart so much. She even blessed my children which always means so much to me.

Sometimes when God gives us an assignment it can seem so easy. However, when you try to walk that thing out for the greater good of all you can truly come against significant opposition. I thank God for those of you who held up my husbands arms and kept us in prayer. It was so appreciated. As we bare each others burdens may we continue to walk this walk with God's mercy and grace. Be Blessed and keep us in your prayers as we strive for true freedom.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

A witness I am called to be....

I don't often share my testimony because I feel like there is always someone ready to attack. Whether it be the atheist who told me I give God too much credit. Or the Christian who feels a need to disect it. My purpose is to give God the glory. So what I am really saying is my testimony is not for you if you find fault in it. It was given to give God the glory and bless those he blessed me to share a word with.

It is God and God alone. I am thankful for every heart he touches. I truly don't take it lightly when I say I am so grateful for people who are truly used by God. I was astonished recently when I realized some people still truly have a true love walk. I don't ever want to put them in a position to compromise their genuine love walk so I won't say too much.

I certainly don't want to make God jealous so I  am very careful to gear my gratitude to our heavenly Father.

I just pray that my testimonies are just what God would have them to be. I just want to say I stood on John 14.  God truly showed up, He has always been my Strong Tower and the one I turn to in my need. He has never failed me yet and I am expecting the miraculous and Great and Mighty things to occur. Be blessed.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Trust enough to get back up

Sometimes we can get knocked down so hard it really is hard to get back up. I grew up thinking nothing was impossible if I could see it I could achieve it. I must say there wasn't much I asked for that God didn't grant. Momma made me feel like the word no didn't exist.

Then, I lived long enough to endure some disappointments. I found myself understanding the struggle so many face. I just started surviving because I felt I needed to for my children and husband's sake. I sure felt like going home to my Lord to be free. Since I had my own brush with suicide at an early age I knew that was not acceptable. I knew I had to keep pressing and keep moving on.

My depression or oppression was beginning to get the best of me. However, each time I followed my passion of writing there was a glimmer of hope and slight success. I began to feel alive again. There was always some confusion to make me feel like I needed to step away. I love peace over anything. I really don't like adversity. You would be surprised since I am a born fighter. I just didn't feel like fighting much over the past few years.

I decided to pray and ask God to help me get unstuck and I received a proposition that gave me a glimmer of hope. I was excited then I felt some doubt, then I said but God you promised my latter would be better than my beginning so it must be so. Besides only God could have shared my passion for writing and on the exact topics.

I didn't think I could handle anymore disappointments after Mom passed but God has a way of bringing you sunshine when she's gone. I am reading Enough is Enough by Jane Strauss and I must testify that God has been hearing my prayers and has answered me clearly. May my testimony be a light to someone facing a struggle and feeling stuck. God is the light at the end of the journey.....simply take his hand.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Can't Have the Devil at the Gate.......Jesus walked in love not hate

Can't have the devil at the gate.
Talking about Jesus yet yielding hate.

They had Pharisees and Saducees.
We have haters and players you see.

People pretending to love like Jesus like Christ loved the church.
Walking around condemning and yielding hurt.

Of all people we should be walking in unity.
I see a need in loving my sister's and brother's especially because they look just like me...it's a matter of a love for humanity.

We should be supporting our sisters and brothers.
Ultimately it's about being there for others.

I believe in embracing people nobody else wants to.
That's what I believe Jesus sent us to do.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Church Folk...When You Know Better You Do Better...He's the King of Kings!

As I pray about the direction of my children...... I see....
We have to do much better as a church community.

I sent my children to christian schools.... To Be......
To become better people of God, can't you see.....

As I heard my children report on what they did see.....
It broke my heart because we represent the King of Kings!
We have to do better and present much better beings....

My children said "Momma, just because their in church don't make them christian."
I responded "no, but they are striving and on a better mission."

One said, "Then how can they teach about Christ and have hate in their heart."
I said "Baby, it's not about where they are, they are in the right place and that's a start."

Another said "Momma, the students threaten the Teachers to go to Pastor about the music they've heard and seen."
Then I said "Oh Lord, we have to be better beings."

I revamped and went to church to be a blessing to a sister in Christ.
Yet she dishonored her word before my child and it cut just like a knife.
As my child continues to ask questions about church folk I now pay the price.

I know that my trust is not in man.
But please do better before our children because I know that we can.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

My Love is not for sale!

Many people live their lives accepting anything from anyone. However, I am grateful my mother taught me a person's character truly matters. I can remember the first time I had roses delivered to my high school. I was a teenager walking in the park and this nice looking car pulled up. The young man got out and asked my name. I told him I didn't talk to strangers, he went on and on and attempted to get my phone number, address anything but I refused. He wouldn't stop so I finally gave him my first name.

I realized it was the chase and the fact that I wasn't easy that made him so interested. He later went to my high school and learned my name through classmates and had a dozen red roses delivered to the school office. When they arrived they were beautiful. I asked who knew how he had gotten my last name and I told that classmate to tell him I don't want them. Everyone was in awe, they couldn't understand why I refused such a beautiful gift. Nor could he but he got the picture after another encounter.

I had learned early on that it starts with a man thinking he can buy your love.I truly wanted it to be clear that I was not interested in his "dirty money." I have always had a distaste for anyone who could kill our own people through crack or any other means. I just never thought money was more important than human life and I always felt like there were consequences for my every action; further the reason I don't allow alcohol or cigarette smoking in my home.

Therefore, I share this story because I'm grateful that my Mom showed me shows like Sparkle and The Color Purple and helped me realize I wanted a man with vision. I wanted someone who truly knew what it meant to hang in there and love his family. There's an old saying that a woman's loyalty is tested when they have nothing, but a man's loyalty is tested when they have everything. I'm glad I prayed for someone who wasn't going to use or abuse me. I am glad I prayed for someone I could love and be loved by. It is in your adversity that you truly understand love. It is then you realize how important it is that he be a friend first and foremost.  I pray this testimony is a light to my sisters and my daughter some day. May you choose a man of God who loves you like Christ loved the church, because your love should not be for sale.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

I Don't Want to Be a Hypocrit..... I just want to live for God....

I recently did what some call "back slide". I stopped going to church and I had to take time and get away from religion. It started becoming uncomfortable in a bad way. My biggest concern was being able to carry out what I was hearing in the pulpit. Love was what I grew up hearing and believing but that wasn't necessarily the instruction. My Bible said if I can't love you who stands before me, then my love for God is basically in vain.

I use to say and now I hear people say you should not be listening to secular music and yet look on Facebook and their talking about Scandal and Mary Jane, two of the most damaging agents for African American women and their self esteem. I don't know that secular music is more damaging than secular tv.

The more I visited other cultures and churches it seemed they were not tied to the bondage we seem to have. They seem fine listening to anything and watching anything as long as the Holy Spirit doesn't convict them otherwise and they certainly aren't trying to figure out what the congregation is watching or listening to. I certainly don't have a desire to listen to most of the junk playing today on the radio or tv.

I've had to really step back and realize I listened to BET growing up and yet my love for God was never stronger. It doesn't mean I listen to harsh rap but every now and then I hear a song like John Legend's "All of Me" and I can't help but wonder why God would be displeased. So I have stepped back from judging my children and stopped awhile back requiring that they not listen to any secular music. I guess I will have to continue to pray about this. However, it just seems hypocritical for me to watch "Scandal" (which I don't) and all the other junk on t.v and then get on my high horse about not listening to secular music. Pray for me because it's going to take some time to get back to that holy place the right way.

Monday, March 3, 2014

No longer running away, It was My God that Kept me Sane!

When I worship you, I know it is not in vain.
People don't understand my worship, because it was born out of my pain.

Loving a wonderful, magnificent God is more meaningful than some will ever know.
My worship is the seed that I sow.

Loving my family comes natural to me.
Born out of the love of a woman who made great sacrifices for me to Be!

The God that I serve has kept me protected from so much harm.
I feel like the children when I say "He's the bomb."

He's lifted me out of my miry clay.
He re-invented someone I thought went away.

He saved me from a very dark place.
So that I could stand tall and show my face.

So when I stood at church and heard you don't know my story, you don't know my pain.
It screamed volumes to my identity and it confirmed it was only God that had kept me sane.

As I sat in church with tears rolling down my face.
It was my moment when God had answered and had once again touched me and strengthened my faith.

He reminded me he was present and he was filling this place.
He confirmed it was time for me to occupy his space.

No longer could I run away, no place left to hide; there was simply nothing left to disguise.
It was time to woman up and be who God called me to Be.
Soldier take your place is the vision I could hear and see.

Denise Loundes-Russell ©2014

We Must Go On

I once found myself in a pretty dark place.
So afraid in this life, I just wanted to cover my face.

I didn't understand how I ended up in "this lake".
I knew it wasn't the seeds I had sown, "it had to be a mistake!"

One catastrophe, followed by another and another.
This was right before and after I lost my Mother.

A sea of loneliness had set in, day after day of grieving and pain.
My God, where are you? I wondered in vain.

Or so I thought...as I couldn't collect my thoughts.
Theories circled in my head of Why or Why Not? ....and all those ought's.....

"I oughta this" and "I oughta" that ran through my head.
There was nothing I could do now.....She was already dead.

I wanted vengeance, but my heart was too weak.
I knew I had simply hit what some called "a bad streak."

A time in my life filled with pure misery.
Thank God for His Love and my husband's chivalry.

I climbed out slowly from that dark, dark place, "there was a light just a shining"....I could finally once again see.
It was time to regain my composure and dare to carry on and Be who God created me to Be.

You can't understand my journey without knowing my song.
In hearing someone else's story, we sometimes find the strength to go on!

Denise Loundes-Russell ©2014

There are Angels Watching Over Me

There have been Angels in the midst of it all.
Whenever I call on Jesus, there's an Angel close by to answer His call.
There have been Angels watching over me.
You don't know, because you didn't see what I see.
Lord knows he's had Angels watching over me.
He had a plan and He knew they'd need to Be....
Right there to hold up my arms.
Lord knows they kept me from great harm.
You don't know how grateful I am for the Angels watching over me.
If you only knew my entire story.
Lord knows you'd know there are Angels watching over me.

Denise Loundes-Russell ©2014

Soldiers for Christ

As a Woman of God, we are called as warriors and soldiers for Christ.
It's not suppose to be easy..... no....... you were bought at a price.
Our purpose is to serve.....not always to entice.
We have to instruct our sons wisely and make prayer the key.
So that they may one day rise up and be "the Man of God"... He created them to be.
It's not easy being me, my sacrifice is real...don't you see?
We can't play second fiddle or be second best.
For our Father is definitely going to put our hearts to the test.
It's not about you, and it's definitely not about me.
It's about the next generation RISING UP VICTORIOUSLY!

Denise Loundes-Russell ©2014

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

The Music Industry... Beautiful Black Sisters.....Open your eyes and see......

You attempt to emasculate our people from the depths of hell.
The pain of my ancestors...... they have suffered on this soil with silent yells.
Yet you find yourself caught up in an industry for money and fame.
Inevitably willing to sacrifice a generation but it will bring you to shame.
I'd rather walk away penniless than to be what hatred or what Satan wants me to be.
But it's all about making "that money" for an industry that would just as soon kill you and me. (Beautiful Tina then beautiful Whitney)
Momma warned you to stay away from thugs, murderers and drugs.
But apparently she forgot to warn you what ailed Tina and Ike "a dl in house Thug".
It was....no she was .....a meal ticket for Ike.... a mere man and the industry.....don't you see?
Thank God Tina was smart enough to walk away and be who God created her to be.

Denise Loundes-Russell ©2014

Friday, February 14, 2014

Happy Valentine's Day to My Love

Wonderful Father, Husband and My King.
Awesome being that has always been overseeing.
Lover, Keeper, my heart sings.
Talent and Inspiration your heart brings.
Everlasting love that you display.
Respectful and Loving til the end of our days!:-)

Denise Loundes-Russell ©2014

Monday, February 10, 2014

Get past the flesh.....

Caught up in this flesh.
Some never get past the mess.

They never realize who they were meant to be.
Never experiencing and never truly able to see.

Living a life of fantasy.
Not able to foresee.

I was once called an ethereal beauty.
It made me realize I was more special than the eye could see.

There was definitely something heavenly about me.
Or so my suitors would have me to believe.

No matter what their words would have an impact.
Fact or fiction I knew my life was stacked.

Not just stacked, not just physically.
Qualified even more mentally.

Therefore, I knew my fate was greater than what would meet the eye.
I knew that one day I would have it all and it would be no surprise.

Denise Loundes-Russell ©2014

Take a pause and show him some respect.....

Respect his love for your child enough to show him some respect.
Your son or daughter will interpret your love for him as his or her own that's a fact.
If he takes what he has and attempts to provide for your family..... show him love.
His heart is open and receptive just because.
He loves your child with all of his heart.
You should have known that from the start.
Put away your differences and live for a greater cause.
Remember each time you attempt to tear him down take a pause.

Denise Loundes-Russell ©2014

Beautiful....Authentic..... you!

If he does not appreciate your authentic design.
Baby, he is definitely not worth your time.
Beauty comes from the perfect designer, the creator of this entire universe.
Man has tried to become God and has created an absolute curse.
Women dying, liquids leaking, laying on a table.....bleeding to death.
While your children and family look on, wondering why..... as you take your last breath.....

Denise Loundes-Russell © 2014

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Love becomes perfect with wisdom,,,,, My Dear!

Love is an amazing journey. People think everything is going to be perfect from the start. However, just like everything else it gets perfect with time. You start off coming from 2 totally different mindsets. You have to put up with him as much as he has to put up with you. You learn each other and you find a way to make each other happy once you decide that this is the one for me.

I really had to learn that as a youth because I always seemed to get everything that I wanted and so I lacked discipline and an open mind but Thank God for my Mother's loving heart. She saw the greatness in my husband's love for me and continued to support our love.

Your spouse teaches you in so many ways if you are willing to learn. It was in evaluating the love of ministers that I learned that no one is perfect. Every time I got angry at him for a lost job or whatever we were going through, you know when you get to "I don't need this" and I would pray for my Boaz. It was then that God showed me the Boaz in my mate. He began to realize how important it was for him to become consistent in my life and I realized how important it was for me to be more supportive in his life.

I write this note to help you realize the greatness that you have in the one you love. If you will open up your heart and let him grow and love you like Christ loved the church, your love will pass the test of time. It is when wisdom sets in that you see that the things of this world are fleeting and don't really matter as much as your love for one another. It's the one who not only promises to grow old with you but the one who actually does that loves you unconditionally.