Sunday, September 27, 2015

Pray for my strength in the Lord!

As I find myself in a place where I believe God would have me to be I am struggling again. I only ask that you pray my strength in the Lord. As usual each time I write an article my faith is challenged. I find myself in a position of questioning why it is so important to dwell on people being able to put up with the foolishness in the church. I have a standard in which I expect the church to know better and be better. As our Pastor preached I squirmed because yes I feel it is better to walk away from people who waste so much time dwelling on foolishness. Just as God was dealing with my heart a deacon got up and said "Yes we are gonna talk about you and I felt like, wow did you just contradict everything the Pastor has said this morning about being better since you know better. Everything he just said about making people feel comfortable and loved in the church. Did you hear anything he said about us being an example and a light?

Maybe I am not receptive because I grew up with people who loved on you in the church. I grew up so filled with activity we did not have time to be in everybody else's business. We just found time to love on them. We spent our weeks planning how we could enjoy this life God blessed us with by participating in pottery classes and taking ice skating trips and having pageants and field trips. Maybe I don't feel at peace with back biting and negativity "being the norm" because for me it was not normal. I was a very sheltered child and I only remember the congregation focusing on the positive. Maybe I am looking for that loving church I grew up in. I just know something about today's service just did not sit well with my soul. I felt a contradiction was taking place and I struggled to receive it peacefully. I just felt like can we move on and let the holy spirit move within us. I just ask that you continue to pray my strength in the Lord and help me overlook people and any foolishness that is not of the Father. More of you God and please less of me as I overcome this struggle by the blood of the lamb.

Friday, September 25, 2015

Beautiful week filled with God's love

                              Last week was one of illness, I was not on my prayer post. The virus hit my daughter then my husband and then me. I had to get on my knees and tell sickness it has no place in my house. I know better, we can not afford to be caught off guard. However, the following week was a week of recovery I began the week off with breakfast with my Sister in Christ in which I was blessed to fellowship and share my desires and receive some confirmation to my concerns about moving forward in the next phase of my life. I am always compelled to be certain that my moves take nothing away from my family. However, I also understand that sometimes we have to do for ourselves in order to do for our family. I appreciate the vessel of God that she was willing to be.

                            My week went on and as I entered the house of God I was struggling with my stubborn side but as I heard Minister Bethea preach I knew the word was for me. I had just been asked why I write in certain genres and I reflected and I had referred back to my first writing opportunity interview and about if we were truly more like Jesus....what could we truly do for the kingdom. I have been praying more of you God and less of me and show me me. I loved her teaching because she taught in such a way that it was not condemning but just as the Bible suggests that we should be. We should teach the younger generation in love. So as I heard Minister Bethea make reference to how she too had experienced that which she faced it took away my guard and made me open to receive her message. I have been to many churches in which there were people who were bourgeoisie and some had a right to be, while others did not. There is nothing I lose interest in more than people who feel their drug addiction or alcohol condition and ability to overcome makes them better than the man struggling with his "heart condition." I believe a sin is a sin and a struggle is a struggle and if Jesus acted like some of us....."Lord, where would we be?"

                           I say this to say the week was a blessing because I did not encounter that foolishness this week. I actually encountered people who were sincere in their love of Christ and for all of his people and for that I am eternally grateful because I have had a low toleration for haughtiness since I know we are all flawed to some degree. My struggle maybe my grief and yours maybe your addiction but the Almighty Father LOVES us unconditionally and will continue to nurture us and love us on this journey because we serve an unconditional God. So when the Prodigal shows up we should all have open arms like Jesus!  He really does not want any of us to be lost. Luke 15:11-32