Sometimes we can get knocked down so hard it really is hard to get back up. I grew up thinking nothing was impossible if I could see it I could achieve it. I must say there wasn't much I asked for that God didn't grant. Momma made me feel like the word no didn't exist.
Then, I lived long enough to endure some disappointments. I found myself understanding the struggle so many face. I just started surviving because I felt I needed to for my children and husband's sake. I sure felt like going home to my Lord to be free. Since I had my own brush with suicide at an early age I knew that was not acceptable. I knew I had to keep pressing and keep moving on.
My depression or oppression was beginning to get the best of me. However, each time I followed my passion of writing there was a glimmer of hope and slight success. I began to feel alive again. There was always some confusion to make me feel like I needed to step away. I love peace over anything. I really don't like adversity. You would be surprised since I am a born fighter. I just didn't feel like fighting much over the past few years.
I decided to pray and ask God to help me get unstuck and I received a proposition that gave me a glimmer of hope. I was excited then I felt some doubt, then I said but God you promised my latter would be better than my beginning so it must be so. Besides only God could have shared my passion for writing and on the exact topics.
I didn't think I could handle anymore disappointments after Mom passed but God has a way of bringing you sunshine when she's gone. I am reading Enough is Enough by Jane Strauss and I must testify that God has been hearing my prayers and has answered me clearly. May my testimony be a light to someone facing a struggle and feeling stuck. God is the light at the end of the journey.....simply take his hand.