I woke up reflecting on the goodness of God. I examined some things and I realized why I was so discouraged. I shared that I walked away from the church because I felt like if I call myself a christian yet I'm doing no better than the world then what is the purpose.
So, I left and began examining different cultures and different church leaders. The head is what is most important to me, because if the shepherd is right the flock will follow. I must say I challenged God, I told him my Bible doesn't line up with what I am hearing.
If I can't love you who stands before me because I'm always walking in judgment of you something is very wrong. I felt like Christians were picking and choosing who to love. I felt like some were manipulating the scripture to build their empires. I don't want that. I want to love the Jacobs, the Joseph's and the woman with the issue of blood. To me that is walking in true power. That's walking out my true calling. I want to make sure that your encounter with God let's you be truly free, a place where you fish for yourself. Nothing broken, to be totally whole and set free, that is what this walk means to me.
So when I walked away I said "God show me your love." It was not easy God has to bring you to your knees sometimes. However, when Gods vessels got in motion I knew it was nobody but God. Everything that was offered was offered without selfish motive or gain. The people God used weren't saying God, God, they were actually showing me God. They didn't care about the almighty dollar, they were concerned about my families eternity. Even down to my transition it was So God. I stood on John 14 and God prepared a place for me it was offered with such sincerity. When I moved the transaction was nothing like the world, she discerned and she handed us our key. I share this testimony to say Thank you God for restoring my faith for showing me your Love and for knowing nobody wants to be in a mess. Jesus was not mad at the woman with the issue of blood , He was mad that the disciples did not know God's power through love.