Wednesday, November 27, 2013

I Miss You, My First Best Friend..... R.I.P. Mommy

You were my 1st best friend.
You taught me so many things, especially to lend.

To lend my heart, and to give each person my all.
You taught me how to always stand tall.

Despite the hardships that you endured.
It was you that always made me feel assured.

Assured that this world we live in could change.
To never believe we'd remain the same.

You taught me how to forgive, even when I didn't want to which became a plus.
Because I was the one ready and willing to fight and cuss.

You taught me kindness, because I began to develop a thick skin.
You taught me the fear of God, so I never wanted to sin.

On that fateful day when God called you home.
I finally realized what it meant to feel so alone.

God Blessed me with a new best friend long before you parted this earth.
And for that I am grateful because he Blessed me with a mate that produced tremendous seed on this earth.
He further reminds me, when I am down and out what I am truly worth.

But I realize that there is still so much work to do.
Know that I won't stop missing you.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

2014 Will Be a Different Course Indeed

In 2013 I had a lot of time of reflection. I took note of all the talent in the family and thought "What is the best way to ensure their journey is different than ours was?" How do I ensure that the children's thoughts are not stolen and their dreams are not put on hold. I owe it to them to ensure that they can carry on a legacy worth carrying on.

So I decided to interview an older woman who truly speaks her heart. She began to break things down. She said "we messed up during integration." She said "we decided to compete with white America instead of modeling after the Jewish community that decided not to compete but to create their own." She said "we are simply better off setting our pride to the side." Summarized ......It is better to find a service to supply than to remain a slave in America.

She went on to say you are wise in home schooling your children, because "who entrusts their child's education to people who have hated us since we stepped foot on this land." I took her words to heart and understood her instruction but I thought how harsh but how true. I guess that is why I tried to justify the insanity that a 95% minority school would be run by 95% white middle class women in 2013 with about 4 males on staff with all the statistics that cite the need for male role models in their lives. However, she is right, stop trying to make sense of the nonsense. Black boys are only in trouble because we have put their fate in the hands of people who have hated them from the beginning of time. For me that's so hard to process because I didn't grow up seeing the hate of the south. I grew up with loving people of every race in the north. I grew up where people were people and you knew it was the heart of a man that you needed to evaluate.

However, in 2014 I will change course and stop trying to do the same things yet expecting different results. I recently said to my husband "I'd rather have many clients than one that has been given the power to make me or break me"..... by holding on to a job that keeps me "just over broke"........ ultimately a slave. It's time to set sail on a new voyage in 2014...Be Blessed!:-)