Besides lately I have had no choice but to be on the phone. It has actually been a great thing. It has taught me to look a little deeper. You see when you are juggling a husband and five children and trying to handle other matters it can get hectic. As I have shared I never wanted my career or anyone to be competition for my family so I have spent many years secluded to some degree. I have just in the past few years come out and started the process of networking and mingling again.
The reason it is difficult is because I have spoiled my family and when I am on a call they continue to know they are my priority. If I am talking to them and others I tend to juggle the conversations. However, recently I was on the phone with an important call and the person was laughing and excited. However, my family was in front of me speaking of other matters. So as I tried to juggle the two conversations the phone call did not get my proper reactions. On the inside I was rejoicing and smiling but I had to juggle two reactions. I believe the person got off the phone rather disappointed.
I later spoke with her the same week and I was excited about the news she was delivering to me. However, this time she was rather dull and I noticed she had someone in the background talking to her as well.
For the first time I was not moved by this situation. I simply took inventory of the two calls and realized that just like I did not react the way she expected ........neither did she. I realized we both had other things going on. Before I would have been totally messed up wondering had I offended this person. However, this time God simply showed me "Me." He helped me see that I need to stop letting things get to me and stop worrying so much about other people's emotional roller coasters. It is okay if they get upset, they will get over it just as I did and may realize it was not as they may have perceived. I realized people are not as fragile as I seem to think. I was so tired of walking on eggshells with people I simply stopped communicating. That was definitely not a solution.
I am not saying I will be back to myself and staying on the phone as I did before I had a family to care for. However, it has helped me see things from a different perspective. While my family is indeed my priority it is okay to have more "me time" and to give my time to others when necessary.