I have had to take time to make a u turn. I can share this with the world because I know it's not about my image it's about Christ. I mentioned previously that I had to take some time to make my u turn. I decided to go out and get a regular 9 to 5 nothing spectacular. In my time away I was dying inside. I had so much I wanted to write about but I had made a commitment to an organization and I wanted to honor my promise. However, I also promised God I would take care of the family that he has entrusted me with. I wanted to finish the review I promised I would write for an upcoming author.
It started off fun. I could buy them "the things" I wanted to .....it was "the extras." I could donate more to greater causes and not have to get approval. I could pay the bills I needed to. However, physically I was falling apart. My husband was in the backgroud advising me "don't do it. I don't care if I have to work three jobs I want you home."
I was hard headed I thought no love. I want to be able to do things, I have put "things" off for far too long being at home. I thought look how my outside world is falling apart. However, what I realized was that what my husband said was far more important. As we went to teacher conference after teacher conference. The teachers said the same "I couldn't understand why your child was no longer getting 100's on most tests etc. My husband said " I did not want her to go back to work because our home falls apart when she is away from home". That made me realize nothing is more important to me than my family.
If stuff in the world has to wait then it will have to be patient just like I have to. I realized a biblical principal that stands out in my mind "what good is it to gain the whole world and lose my soul." I couldn't go to church because I had to meet the demands of the company. Besides nobody was going anymore, so that was leaving my family in the same place. Therefore, what I understood was the lack of peace meant I knew I had not taken on a job that was actually a match for me.
I heard the world say "girl in this economy there is nothing out there." I thought girl "I got hired on the spot." In the world there may not be jobs but with God all things are possible. I heard people say "why would you take a job in "retail and service" with your background. I said "because no job is beneath me" but I also said "However, there is a time and season for everything."
I have two children graduating this year and I know having a job would make it tremendously easier. However, there is nothing that my God has not supplied. As soon as I resigned it was as if God just opened the windows of heaven all the materials we were purchasing to remodel the home were given to us. Brand new materials were handed to my husband by business owners.He went to negotiate cheaper rates since he was going to buy in bulk and they said no charge.
Projects I had been working on came through. My problem is contractual always means waiting. I even received an American Express gift card that had been mailed to me weeks ago. I was asked for my opinion and I had forgotten I had been promised this card two months ago. It was here all along. I had overlooked the letter and my blessings. I even missed out on a learning opportunity about non profits because I had to work.
The work world had not changed, people after each others throats to get a promotion, people wasting time trying to make others look bad. The worst part was people were bold enough to say they were getting people fired. The pay had not changed in the grind. I was always blessed contractually, what I would make in one day was what I can make in a week in the worlds system. Yes the paycheck is more steady but I sure don't miss the sacrifice of my health or my time.
My purpose for sharing this is that we can get off course but there is always a way to get back on course. Isn't it wonderful that God allows u-turns. I can share my errors knowing Jesus is not concerned with my mistakes, he is concerned with my obedience. He is more joyful that I am available to do what he has called me to do instead of doing what I want to do. He kept pointing out to me that he did not need me tired and weary. My husband was used as a vessel to confirm that often.
For this reason I say we are not subject to the economy or the unemployment line. I decided I wanted to work and I had a job the same day. Understand I know we have to think like God and not listen to what the media is telling us. God said "all my needs are met" it is up to us how they are met for we all have free will.
Know that I say that in humility for when I think about the people who questioned why Jesus sat with "the unworthy crowd" and his response was that he came to heal the sick he did not come to heal those who are well. It made me realize more than ever "it's about purpose". I need not cover my errors for my purpose is to find my way like everyone else. It is to let people know the journey was not easy bumps and bruises and all but it is definitely worth it! Time to get back on course and further explore my purpose....