Sunday, December 25, 2011

As the year ends many things will change

The end of 2011 will close out an important chapter in my life. I will enter 2012 meeting the desires of my heart by doing. I will take that long overdue trip to Paris to do some soul searching. I will spend the year writing the 2 books waiting to be birthed that are on the inside of me.

As I observed the women in my book, I answered one important question, why do women stay in abusive relationships so long? It is simple abusers are more loyal than anyone the victim has to rely on. So be loyal (something we have lost along the way as a people) if you really want to help someone find their way.

So may God Bless You All because it's been awesome sharing my journey and leaving my children with a piece of me publicly. It will certainly help me stay grounded, humble and filled with love and understanding. I am hoping that in all my transparency, I have touched at least one life and helped some better understand my mother's journey as well as my own.

Last but not least it was amazing celebrating the gifts that God has blessed my life with, our family without a doubt outweighed any gift we could receive. My son Mikey bought me a treasure box and my husband filled it with treasures and love as well as my beautiful daughter and handsome sons. The gifts were so priceless because there was so much thought in the process, it was just amazing how well they know my heart and how God blessed me with loved one's who met every need. Thanks Sister, neice and nephew for the beautiful gifts and know I appreciate you more than you know. Be Blessed!

Love Always,

signing off in 2011........

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Thank you to the children for giving back

I just wanted to say thank you to my children for giving back to their community this year. I was very happy you all have the heart to serve. I watched as you entered my job at Samaritans Purse and you left happy and excited to do more for the children overseas........ you seemed even more excited this year. I watched you as you left for the Salvation Army with Dad to decorate for the families and even your time spent photographing for me for articles and never expecting anything in return. Some how making the cookies for the homeless stood out the most in my mind. As I drove and saw people on benches my heart continues to ache and it makes me realize how much work we have to do in this world.

So I am proud to call you all my children and I pray God opens up more opportunities for you to serve your fellow man across the globe in Jesus name! I hope this helps us all realize how important it is to give your time and your love more than anything else.

Excited about Christmas!

Christmas is one of my family favorites. We get time away from worldly things and time alone with each other. My daughter just finished an awesome Gingerbread house. The children are excited about Sunday, this day they get their gifts from the Lord as I see it for without Christ people would not feel so generous. I love the holiday because for one day people truly imitate the King whether they are Christian or not. They choose to think of others, they sacrifice, they choose to take time to love one another.

It is the one day of the year "the Christ" seems to come out of people, so no matter what people think of Christ they have to admit he has touched their lives even this day. We have people running around just being kind. It is just an amazing time of the year. May we learn to walk in love the rest of the year as well. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAVE A BLESSED NEW YEAR!!!!!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Our Savior, the ultimate King we celebrate you

Our savior, our ultimate King.
We lift our voices to you and sing.
It appeared to be such a great loss.
The way you sacrificed your life on the cross.
Yet you left us here to be victorious.
It's amazing the way you laid down your life for us.
Yet today we find it hard to love one another.
By your example I lay down my life for my sisters and brothers.
The King shall surely rise again.
My only hope is that we are all ready and caught without sin.
At this time let's celebrate the greatest name, the name unlike any other name.
It's Jesus, Jesus oh praise His name and know that you'll never be the same!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

I was a poor black kid and Gene Marks is right to some degree

As a poor black kid, I was taught to absorb everything. I walk into a building and I usually know everything that will be happening that is posted. My mother often stated "Do as I do" because "do I say, not as I do" simply does not work. As a mom who worked very hard her entire life on this earth, I started out with the same traits. I began working at the age of 14. I worked 2 jobs as I got older.I worked my way through college at Seton Hall University starting as a Business Manager of The Biblical Theology Bulletin. I then moved to the south when I became pregnant and worked as a Credit Analyst and Teller for First Union.

However, mom also exposed us as children to other things. She faithfully had me watching Oprah, reading Susan Taylor's articles and exposing us to other successful people and wanted me to know what success was. She said "I do what I do so you won't have to." She worked at the hospital and had us volunteer there on weekends and sit with the patients. We never saw her sleeping around or having men in our home in a disrespectful manner. However, she married twice and she stayed in abusive marriages.

Life started off great until I chose to dabble in adult things as a young lady. I got pregnant and then I married. I still obtained my BA and went on to be a court reporter which was the closest to what I wanted to be and still raise my family. The point is we can work hard and do all the "right things" but our social exposures can still play a vital part in our decision making. I have often been told by successful people to leave my husband because he can not take me to where I want to go basically. Yet my mom showed me love is more important than money. I could have compromised myself to achieve success but at the end of the day...... I have to live with myself. I have to know the consequences of my actions effect more than just me. I also know that what I needed more than anything was my father and I would never do anything to jeopardize my daughters relationship with her father. My husband does more staying by my side than the richest man can do with his success.

Most would say I did better than my mom, yet I still did not fully achieve what I set out to do yet. There is generational building that takes place in life. Of course success comes easy to Mr. Marks because that is what he has been exposed to and he is building from generational successes. He is right we can get our children into private schools and I have gotten my daughter into one. My hope is that she will be exposed to more than I can give her. I want her to have a strong foundation by learning what she needs spiritually most importantly and academically. She is achieving with a 3.75 GPA.

However, it is very expensive even with her scholarship. The fact is it is not as easy as following those formulas. For if it was all of my children would be in private school and I would be off obtaining my JD. However, I know I can not leave my children to the streets or to the care of strangers. My mother died in 2005 and my sister works very hard. Therefore, there are few people we depend on to care for our children.

I often teach my children repeatedly.... "do not get in a hurry to be an adult." Enjoy your college years and your road to success and then have your family. Yet I know I was one who got off track. Therefore, I can pray that they will choose a different path and I do all I can to guide them but the reality is they are seeing life happen before them.

As a result of societal influence and statistics, I home school 3 of my 4 African American sons so that they will not be subject to become anyone's statistic. I teach them to be independent learners because that is what I was taught to be. I expose them to other teachers with proven track records and lectures. However, not everybody has the opportunity to do that. I was blessed with a husband who works three jobs to help that take place. However, it is not easy as the article conveys. They watch their father lose his job, not always due to his own error or his race but his upbringing as well. He is resilient and he bounces back but the reality is my sons see his struggle as an African American man in America. My hope is they will own their own businesses and not have to rely on the mercy of others to give them a job.

The point is Mr. Marks is definitely giving us the proper solution that education and hard work are key. However, the social issues that exist are still a contributing factor. He can afford Sylvan if he needs it, most of the children he is referring to can not afford dinner tonight. So yes we should take heed to the resources Mr. Marks is providing and absorb everything he is sharing but we also have to examine how we can change things so there are less poor black kids in America who have to struggle period.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Thanks to My Mothers in Christ

To all the strong Mother's who have touched my life....

No drugs, no alcohol, no habits to soothe my pain.

It's your strength that inspires me to remain.

Your example, teaches me to remain no matter what the fight.

It has taught me to walk by faith not by sight.

My heart is to never hurt anyone and to endure what I must.

To live a life of peace and avoid all the fuss.

Never wanted baby Momma drama that is one reason I stayed.

Always wanted one love...... one marriage that is what I prayed.

It was the job loss that I wanted to evade.

The pain of it will one day fade.

Despite it all I love each and everyone of you for having the heart to love me.

Sending my hugs and love through this poetry which helps me be free.

My Testimony....God is so faithful

As I shared changes have occurred but God. As my husband began to tackle some financial mountains the lord touched the hearts of his people. The answer was no charge. I am very grateful for the many blessings that God has blessed us with this year. Harry Belafonte is my greatest inspiration for my desire to be a philanthropist and I am grateful for all the silent blessings in our lives. You both always show generosity and kindness to my family and it will never be forgotten.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Many Obstacles

In my husbands search for a business truck he has faced numerous obstacles. As usual the hurdles have increased but knowing God is able is what truly keeps me going. He has learned of the obstacles of obtaining his business license in this particular area and how it increases.Unexpected job changes, they all seem to rise when good things are trying to happen.

I just know that with God All Things are possible and when he enters the right door his solution will be waiting for him. Continuously in prayer.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

There's no sense in being if we can't be right

As I go day to day, I have tried my best to be the best child of God that I can be. If that means or meant shutting down all communication and cutting off everybody to get my house in order then that is what I must do. I can not live my life desiring to be the person God created me to be with the constatnt obstacles that have presented themselves. I certainly can not live in two worlds. I have tried my best to follow Godly counsel and step back and allow things to be in order.

However, sometimes the disorder will eventually have to be put in order. As I have spent time in the emergency room battling with my health. I realized there is only so much any one person can take. So moving forward I will do what God has put in my heart and just live my life until I can live the life God has designed for me.In essence I have decided to let go and let God but be sensible in the process. Continue to keep me in prayer saints for I know God is definitely Able!