As I find myself in a place where I believe God would have me to be I am struggling again. I only ask that you pray my strength in the Lord. As usual each time I write an article my faith is challenged. I find myself in a position of questioning why it is so important to dwell on people being able to put up with the foolishness in the church. I have a standard in which I expect the church to know better and be better. As our Pastor preached I squirmed because yes I feel it is better to walk away from people who waste so much time dwelling on foolishness. Just as God was dealing with my heart a deacon got up and said "Yes we are gonna talk about you and I felt like, wow did you just contradict everything the Pastor has said this morning about being better since you know better. Everything he just said about making people feel comfortable and loved in the church. Did you hear anything he said about us being an example and a light?
Maybe I am not receptive because I grew up with people who loved on you in the church. I grew up so filled with activity we did not have time to be in everybody else's business. We just found time to love on them. We spent our weeks planning how we could enjoy this life God blessed us with by participating in pottery classes and taking ice skating trips and having pageants and field trips. Maybe I don't feel at peace with back biting and negativity "being the norm" because for me it was not normal. I was a very sheltered child and I only remember the congregation focusing on the positive. Maybe I am looking for that loving church I grew up in. I just know something about today's service just did not sit well with my soul. I felt a contradiction was taking place and I struggled to receive it peacefully. I just felt like can we move on and let the holy spirit move within us. I just ask that you continue to pray my strength in the Lord and help me overlook people and any foolishness that is not of the Father. More of you God and please less of me as I overcome this struggle by the blood of the lamb.