I grew up loved and I knew if my Mom had died when I was a child I was going to be okay at one point. She made it her business to surround us with love. I knew it was not about money. Money means nothing to me other than how I can be a blessing to others. The Elders of our church wanted to see to it that we knew Christ that we enjoyed our youth.
I suppose that is why I am so hard on the body of Christ. I saw selfless people who truly loved the Lord. Church was not just a business to them, it was a place where you could leave the world and know they love me just as I am but that they wanted me to be better. I want that so badly for my children. I want them to know when their parents leave this earth they will be surrounded by God's love. They will have people who will have their best interest at heart, that the Christ in them will be so powerful that our departure won't sting so much. I see that in our Pastor and that makes it a little easier to know they have a faithful servant of God leading them.
I am concerned for my oldest sons who have seen so much unhealthy things that they may go to church but they are no longer committed. I apologize to them for turning away because I take full responsibility that they saw me waver and know that I am concerned about where they will grow and learn about Christ. I bare that burden but I want nothing more than to see them serve God with their whole heart. I want nothing more than for them to be a living witness for God. I pray that one day when I have gone on to be with the Lord they will read my prayers and know that I am so sorry for where I fell short but I only wanted what was best for them.I wanted that transformational love of Christ to surround them.