Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Surrounding yourself with those who want to see you at your for the little things......

For the last few years I have made major changes by moving to a city that I believed would open doors and give my children peace and opportunity. I am happy to say my 19 year old has been blessed as a supervisor and my 16 year old has had great success in his current position. I have made every effort to surround myself with people who have my best interest at heart. I have learned that you just have to cut off things and people who do not mean you well. Sometimes you carry dead weight and pray for people but ultimately God will bring laborers across their path.

I have learned that there are some people in this world who will always want to catch you at your worst and those who will do everything to elevate you to your best. Why waist precious time surrounding yourself with people who do not mean you any good?

Therefore, my suggestion is when you find parasites in your world even through say in laws or as some say "haters" eliminate the threat and surround yourself with people who desire to bring out the best in you. For ultimately that is what friends are for.....My ultimate goal is to bring out the best in those around me because I absolutely know it starts at home. I truly believe in Karma...or as Mom always said "Do good and you do it to yourself."

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Trayvon Martins' life matters....."White women are mean, Mommy" ...that's not what I want him to believe....

As I sit here thinking about the events and how they have unfolded I can only feel heart break. As a Mom and former Court Reporter who has lived through the performances of the court systems "Great court room acting" in the south. I can only say how sorry I am to Mr. and Ms. Martin because we all bare some responsibility and no one can give them comfort but the Almighty King.

As a mother of 4 African American males and the wife of an African American male who is a former Police Officer, who wasn't willing to go with the status quo I know the hurt all too well. Though I can only pray that God will allow my children to outlive me my heart aches everyday in this country. As I think of how much I have cheated my children of by raising them in the south among a hatred that never died.

One incident in particular comes to my son was in elementary school he said  "Mommy, white women are mean." This is after having all white female Teachers who just yelled at him year after year. I finally withdrew him and began to homeschool him, because I thought about my wonderful white female Algebra Teacher who genuinely loved me. I thought about my Vice Principal who did everything she could to see to it that I had the best high school experience possible. Or even the white woman who is my sons Godmother and was also wonderful to my husband. They did not deserve this stereotype but the difference was the love in their heart, they did not grow up being contaminated by the hatred of people like the Zimmermans. You have to evaluate the heart of a man. Yet, once again I find myself having to explain why six white women would have the heart to state his life is meaningless.

I remembered when I handled the induction interview for the great Golfer William Zimmerman in 1996 and as I spoke with his wife on the golf course about becoming an attorney. She uttered "It's nice that you people think that way." I too made the mistake I hear Steve Harvey making saying "she really doesn't know any better...because all she knows is having tea etc...." Yet Mrs. Zimmerman knew exactly what she was doing "She was sowing a seed of doubt." Just as these jurors knew exactly what they were doing. They were carrying out what they have always been taught they must carry out.

Please don't make excuses for their hatred, instead use it as an opportunity to open up dialogue. Too many of us sit around pretending that the elephant is not in the room. We pretend to feel comfortable to be accepted by our counterparts. We let too much go when we see young African American men being harassed by the police or others unfairly. It is in us turning a blind eye to the little things that has allowed us to get to a point where this child was able to be murdered for carrying a bag of skittles home for his cousin and an iced tea home. In a world where my son has friends of all races, it is rare now that he encounters the hatred you find in places like Sanford, Florida. It's just a fact that these pocket cities in the south where hatred is still brewing for the blood of our sons truly exist. I felt like I had walked into the twilight zone when I realized "I had moved to Evans, Ga a place screaming about white flight." "Just know that they are no longer wearing their white hoods."

Monday, July 8, 2013

Prenuptial Agreements are not a concern for the Woman of God

There has been a lot of question around "would you be willing to sign a prenuptial." I say absolutely, if you are marrying for love and you indeed know your source which is God..... not your man..... you will have no problem with it. Knowing what I know today, I would not marry someone If I did not trust in them. If I marry someone, I know that he must have my best interest at heart. If he has your best interest at heart, he is going to see to it that he will make all moves to see to it that your dreams are a reality. As a man of God he is a provider and you will be taken care of, just as you would see to it that he is taken care of as a woman of God. Therefore, if he is in a position of power and a true man of God it is inevitable that he will see to it that you are successful too.

You are not going into the marriage to take what he has already gained, you are going into the relationship as a team and whatever you build moving forward will belong to both of you. I just don't believe that a prenuptial is a big deal. A good example of a modern day man of God is Vincent and Tamar. Vincent is doing what he does best behind the scenes and allowing his wife to shine. I think they have the perfect example of true love, manifesting with the mind of Christ. If you marry the right man of God a prenuptial should not be a concern.

Identity Theft...A message to the thief

I've lived my life living below my means.
To ensure we would always be able to meet our children's needs.

There's always someone out there lurking for the next opportunity.
Don't try to use my likeness or my identity.

We have raised 5 children without stealing anything.
Don't become a threat to my peace, or expect me to accept the chaos you bring.